Femininity and Queerphobia

For a long time, I wondered at the link between homophobia, transphobia and misogyny. In my personal experience, I found that people who held homophobic beliefs were just as often misogynistic and sexist–the same holds true for transphobic individuals. In modern western patriarchal society, men and masculinity are centered in all interpersonal relationships and interactions. To challenge this notion is to challenge the social structure as a whole. Queer people innately challenge traditional norms of femininity and masculinity, which in turn, elicit hostility from those who take comfort in, and benefit from, patriarchy.

I posit that the basis of most queerphobia and queerphobic behavior (that is, transphobia, homophobia, lesbophobia, aphobia, biphobia, among others) comes from our society’s deeply entrenched misogyny and bias against femininity and women. We see this time and time again in queerphobic talking points and arguments that associate strength and dominance with masculinity and weakness and submission to femininity.

In each form of queerphobia, the individual’s relationship with men and masculinity–or lack thereof– is placed at the center of the conversation. Femininity is seen as a trait intended to be dominated by masculinity. The feminine only exists, then, in relation to the masculine; those who present a conflict with this paradigm are thus anomalies and are met with either confusion and derision. This is where we find queer identities as designated in western patriarchal societies.

The lesbian is seen as unsuitably masculine for not having a man at the center of their life. Gay men are only respected if they are fulfilling a traditionally masculine role, artificially placing their partner beneath them in an unnecessary power imbalance. Transmasculine people have their agency taken from them, infantilized and seen as confused girls who do not know any better. Transfeminine people, as we have seen time and time again, earn some of the most violent and hostile forms of queerphobia, as they force cisgendered, heterosexual men–those who hold the most power in western patriarchy–to contend with their own ideas of gender and sexuality. None of this even touches on those who simply do not conform to the binary at all, including bisexual and pansexual people, non-binary forms of identity, and asexual and aromantic people.

It is the function of patriarchy to create and maintain hierarchy, and queer people inherently challenge this framework. The submission expected from women and the weakness associated with femininity are thus challenged and upended by the very existence of queer people in society. Cisgender, heterosexual men, as the holders of power within this paradigm, are incentivized to suppress and persecute queer people in order to maintain the power they have under patriarchy. The hegemonic thinking taught within these societies place women in a clearly defined, though subordinate, role in relation to men in society, and teaches that it is better to have a role than to have to define oneself on one’s own terms, creating a society that enforces queerphobia as a way to force others into conformity.

Patriarchy is most powerful in its subtlety. While there exists overt manifestations of patriarchy within western society, the way in which it shifts in order to preserve itself in the face of queer people is far easier for many people to ignore.

It is not uncommon for the marginalized to advocate for the further oppression of other marginalized groups under the misguided notion that assimilation into an oppressive society is the key to thriving within it. Only with communities uniting together and understanding that their similarities will always outweigh their differences can true, revolutionary change take place. And for those who continue to call for the oppression and suppression of their fellow marginalized peoples, it is imperative to understand that all oppression is linked, and that those in power will sacrifice any group to keep their status.